Mother's Day 2026: Honouring the courage it takes to keep going
Lilly Lewis, Women’s Involvement Advisor, One Small Thing
This Mother’s Day, Lilly Lewis, Women’s Involvement Advisor at One Small Thing, reflects on the experiences that have shaped her journey as a mother. She discusses the challenges faced by mothers in the justice system, shares what she has learned along the way, and how those lessons continue to guide her today.
Mother’s Day used to be one of the hardest days of the year for me.
It was a reminder of what I thought I had lost. A reminder of the guilt, the shame. A reminder of the years when I wasn’t physically present in my children’s lives because of my own choices and the consequences that followed. I would often go over and over in my head all the poor choices I had made and “what if” I had done things differently.
There was a time when I believed I had failed at the one role that mattered most to me - being a mum. Due to being abandoned at birth I felt I would never want my own children to feel that way, keeping my family together was always what I wanted.
But today, Mother’s Day means something completely different. Today, it represents growth, accountability and rebuilding - and the power of never giving up on yourself or your children.
My journey into motherhood was shaped by my own early experiences of abandonment and searching for belonging. I desperately wanted to create a family that felt secure, loving, and permanent. But unresolved trauma influenced my decisions. I confused control with care. I held on to unhealthy relationships because I believed keeping a partner meant keeping my family together.
When I lost my children to the local authority and later went to prison, I felt I had confirmed every fear I’d ever carried that I was not enough, I was useless and a failure.
But the truth is that when you put a woman in prison, you rarely imprison just one person. The impact ripples outward to children, to grandparents, to the whole family and sometimes will impact a community.
“Prison is a particularly painful place to be as a mother. You measure time not just in days, but in missed birthdays, missed school plays, missed bedtime stories.”
I remember watching other women prepare for visits while my name wasn’t called. I remember the silence after lock-up, thinking about what my children were doing at that exact moment.
But prison also became the place where I started to change.
I began journaling daily and taking responsibility instead of sitting in blame. I visualised the mother I wanted to be when I came home. Not a perfect mother, but a present one. A stable and consistent one. Motherhood, I have learned, is not about perfection, it is about repairing yourself, self-care love and patience.
Today, I have strong, honest relationships with my children. They have seen my growth and consistency. Trust was not rebuilt overnight - it was rebuilt through action, consistency and showing up day after day, always being available.
That is what Mother’s Day represents to me now: showing up.
As Founder of Watering Your Soul CIC, I now walk alongside women who carry the same shame I once carried. Many of them are mothers separated from their children. Many are battling addiction, domestic abuse, poverty, or trauma. Many believe the narrative that they are “bad mums.” I challenge that narrative every day. Language we use especially to ourselves is very important and over the years I’ve learnt to be kind to myself
“Mother’s Day also makes me reflect on the importance of self-care, mothering yourself.”
For years, I was harsh with myself. Critical. Punishing. Expecting immediate transformation. Today, I understand that I had to learn to nurture myself in the way I wanted to nurture my children. I had to learn to like myself and then love myself, and I had to create safety within my own life financially, emotionally and relationally.
I chose differently and I built stability. Today, I surround myself with healthy relationships, and personally I grew. It didn’t happen overnight, it took time.
Eventually I broke all the negative patterns. The greatest gift I can give my children now is not material, it is emotional stability. Love always being there, always showing up. It is showing them that mistakes do not have to define the rest of your life. It’s ok to make mistakes and own them and move on. To pick yourself up and to keep looking forward. Don’t take no for an answer, in fact NO means next option.
To any Mum reading this who feels like she has fallen short: you are not beyond redemption. Getting better is possible. Relationships can heal. Children are often more forgiving than we believe when they see genuine change. It took 10 years of healing and trying for my oldest daughter to talk to me. I knew it would happen one day and now we speak all day every day. I’m a huge part of my grandchildren’s life and they all live in Spain.
“Mother’s Day is not about celebrating perfection. It is about honouring the courage it takes to keep going. To rebuild. To apologise. To grow.”
Today, I celebrate the mother I have become not because my journey was flawless, but because I refused to let it end in failure. I knew there was a mum inside of me that nobody had met yet, and whilst in prison I took the four years to find her, to become her.
And I celebrate every woman who is doing the quiet, unseen work of becoming better for herself and for her children.
That, to me, is what Mother’s Day truly means.
By Lilly Lewis, Women’s Involvement Advisor at One Small Thing
