Guest Blog - Lilly Lewis

In the first of a new series of blogs, our Women’s Involvement Advisor Lilly Lewis explains what the 16 Days of Action against Gender Based Violence means to her, and why the voices of women affected by the justice system need to be included.

Lilly Lewis, Women’s Involvement Advisor, One Small Thing

The 16 days of activism against gender-based violence is an annual international campaign each November to challenge violence against women and girls. The voices of women who are caught up in the justice system are often not heard as part of this however.

As a woman who has gone through almost 30 years of domestic abuse and has served an 8 year prison sentence, I am determined to shine a light on how these circumstances so often overlap. I feel privileged to have been given an opportunity to work with One Small Thing as a Women’s Involvement Advisor, ensuring the voices of women affected by trauma and the justice system are included across their work. My role includes advising on policy, research, strategy, training and service development.

The 16 days of action always brings me back to my time in custody were over 57% of women had been victims of domestic abuse, and so many were there because of an abusive partner. Your abuser takes your control away from you and will coerce you to do things which may be criminal, and then use this to have even more control. My ex would constantly threaten me with calling the police and social services and make me believe that I was the one who would get in trouble and that they wouldn't. This would make me want to stay with them in order to feel safe from those in authority.

Even whilst in custody, cutting ties was still so difficult as being in prison makes you feel very vulnerable and you need lots of strength to separate. Even though my ex had physically and mentally abused me I wasn't sure if I could live without them. I didn’t know how to manage myself because I had always had someone telling me what to do. In the end, I thought about my children and all the abuse they had witnessed, and this was all the strength I needed to cut ties.

However, many women don’t feel able to do this, and continue to be manipulated from outside. Women who had abusive partners at home would often feel insecure that their partner would be disloyal and these feelings would worsen if, for example, their partner did not answer the phone. They would spend hours worrying about this rather than being able to focus on building their own self-esteem and future.

There is an assumption that women who are incarcerated are therefore protected, however I found that the necessary safeguarding is not in place for women in custody. Women can still experience abuse and control via letters and during visits. Perpetrators could be aggressive through letters and many women would leave visits in tears and could be heard extremely upset and distressed on phone calls. 

Once at an open prison, women can apply for ROTL (release on temporary licence) and statistics show that increased use of ROTL is beneficial for maintaining family ties and is associated with reduced reoffending. However, although I was not returning to an abusive partner, there were some women who would return from home visits clearly upset by events that happened. It may not have been physical violence, however many experienced emotional abuse and shame from being blamed for having left the family and the distress this had caused their partner and children. Children can be used as weapons, with partners continuously telling mothers how sad and troubled children are becoming since their mum has been in jail. I would love to see more support around this.

There is a lot of stigma and shame that women carry once incarcerated. Judges will often suggest that as women and a mother we should ‘know better’, therefore sentences can be harsher.

Whilst in custody even though I had over 20 years experience of domestic abuse, I was not offered a place on the Freedom Programme (educational group on domestic abuse), as I presented as a woman who was coping, even though inside I was not coping and did need support.

Courses on domestic abuse and relationships should be available to all women, alongside access to support to process trauma such as One Small Thing’s Healing Trauma programme.

More work and support should be given in the final 12 weeks of any sentence, as this is a really crucial and vulnerable time for women, and particularly those returning to an abusive partner and who may not  feel comfortable to disclose this. Women should be offered ‘through the gate’ services they can build trust with, including violence against women and girls’ services, and have access to funding and safe housing on release to build a new life.